Asparagus Speaketh…

© Asparagus Speaketh 2014, unauthorized use and / or duplication of this material without written permission from the author / owner of this blog is strictly prohibited. Links are allowed when clear credit is given to with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Two Cherries…



was a silly old sod

a clod

named Claude

thought he was a hippie

the birds screamed

he’s drippy!!!

with an odor

that bemoaned her

to flee and flee

poor Claude

the clod

the sill old sod

had wondered what he did wrong

so he

bathed in rhye

with a bit of whiskey in his eye

and said

Aww hell, at least my wanker is big enough to dethrone her,,and her too

he said with a wink

and asked for a tall drink

for poor Claude hadn’t sunk to the lowest of low’s

Till he whipped out his wanker

which had a big canker

and he cleared out the pub

in droves


Flexible Pride…


25 Years ago i was 140 lbs lighter than I am today

11 Years ago i was 65 lbs heavier than i am today

Lighter or Heavier i wasn’t as flexible as I am today thanks to Diamond Dallas Page and YRG Yoga. My wife always thinks I am a show off when I grab my toe with my leg at a 90 degree angle. I am just impressed with myself that I can even do this at 310 lbs. Yes I am 11 lbs shy of getting out of the 300’s but i must say i am on my way :D


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